Another day...

Today my brother David has been gone 12 years. I'm in the dog house still, 2 nights in a row. If only I had him to talk to, he made life bareable. Catch this was always what he said when he was giving you important information. I find myself using it from time to time and it make my heart smile. But when your the outcast of the house right now the only talking I have been doing is to these pages and writing my book. I'm told we need to talk, or give me a few and yet almost 72 hours with no REAL human interaction from those who have said those words to me. Yeah I get a test here or there with maybe a word or two but mostly just the letter "K" or some form of it ... I know what I did hurt but this ice cold treatment isn't putting in the mind frame to heal cause I feel like what's the point if I even try to fix me if no one is around me? The only things that I feel around me out here is the memories and all those feelings and when I need a hand to hold or to be told what is a typical feeling is what should be had at this point and helping me learn and grow, how can I grow and fix things if I'm not shown how to or even how to process the feelings I'm having ... ?